Joke: Cat Goes to Heaven

Tokoyo Cat Cafe where for $10 customers can play with their favorite cat - Image by Getty Images via Daylife

From Denny: Today's my birthday so I thought I'd mellow out and lay back on the early AM posting. Found this over at Jokes.net, enjoy!

Cat Goes to Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"



Cat, Roller skates, Heaven, Family, Pets, Lord, jokes, Humor

Recipe: John's Cajun Pot Roast

Another version of Pot Roast Image by Offbeat Photography via Flickr

From Denny: Here in Louisiana we aren't shy about dining on meat even in hot weather. Pot Roast is a perennial American favorite and Cajuns have their spin on it. My father-in-law, John, was Cajun and a wonderful cook. He didn't have a wide range but what he cooked was awesome and everyone licked the plate! :)

He had been an Army cook in WWII. Originally, he was an infantry soldier in General Patton's pack. The story goes that Patton's troops were forever outrunning their supply lines. What that means to those of you who have never been in combat is that they often were on rations or went hungry. Everyone knows an army runs on its stomach.

Well, John was not about to be denied a good meal. Like any good Cajun country boy he just went out and shot himself a big plump rabbit. He soon had it skinned, skewered and roasting over an open fire. The whole camp smelled it and came moseying over for a friendly meal. John looked at them and yelled, "Ya bunch of Momma's boys! Go get your own damn supper!"

Of course, John was an only child and yes, a Momma's boy but at least he knew how to hunt and was independent enough to take care of himself. He had a real disdain and fear for those spoiled soldiers whose mothers did too much for them. Why? Because he saw them get shot first, killed and in large numbers during the war. He was upset they refused to be teachable in order to save their lives. "War is not a country club!" he often used to say.

It was then that the Army realized the man was resourceful and could cook better than anything listed for recipes in the Army handbook. John was taken off the field and placed on Kitchen Duty where he fed at least 4,000 men a day, three times a day.

He used to tell stories of what it was like to clean the Army cooking pots. We all would scratch our heads, wondering why that was such a big deal. Then he would describe how he had to get a ladder - he was a tall man too - to climb down into the pots to scrub them! Can you imagine how long it took for water to boil in pots that large? It must have taken hours for what we do in smaller portions for our families in only 15 minutes!

John used to cook a wonderful simple Cajun version of Pot Roast on Sundays, his favorite meal. As a new bride I was fascinated with his cooking. He also was a friend of the famous Justin Wilson who started the national obsession with Cajun and Creole food.

Justin Wilson was a fishing and hunting buddy of my husband's maternal uncle, J. B. Roux - yes, Roux really is his last name. Uncle J. B. was an incredible gumbo cook, a big bear of a man and terribly funny. He and John cooked together often, especially on Christmas Eve when they cooked gumbo together for everyone when they came by to visit during the holiday.

Anyway, Justin Wilson was interested in recording all the campfire recipes and Cajun style cooking he could. Uncle J. B. and the other friends were so used to their cooking they thought it was silly. They thought everyone knew how to cook like they did. In their minds, they could not conceive of anyone being a bad cook or not knowing how to cook the obvious.

Anyway, Justin recorded it, started up a local cooking show, wrote and sold books, made videos, went national and then international. If not for Justin Wilson, Uncle J. B.'s recipes and that of his friends would never have been published and perished with them when they died.

Over the years I've adapted John's recipe to make it my own.

John's Cajun Pot Roast

From: Denny Lyon

Total: 3 hrs 40 mins
Active: 40 mins
Makes: 6 to 8 servings

Ingredients:

3 teaspoons salt (or to your taste)

3 Tablespoons Tony Chachere's (Cajun seasoning, or to your taste)

2 teaspoons freshly ground cracked black pepper (or to your taste)

1 4-pound boneless chuck roast, trimmed of excess fat

3 Tablespoons canola oil

1 large red/purple/Cajun onion, coarsely chopped

4 medium celery stalks, coarsely chopped

1 green bell pepper, diced or sliced in strips

8 medium garlic cloves, slivered lengthwise in strips

3 Tablespoons tomato paste

2 cups low-sodium beef broth

4 fresh thyme sprigs

Optional: 8 dahes Tobasco sauce (John liked some heat!)

Optional: Fresh mushrooms

Directions:

Heat the oven to 325°F and arrange a rack in the lower third or you can place this roast in an electric skillet on the kitchen countertop like John did to simplify cleanup.

Here comes the fun tactile part: Take a small paring knife and poke and dig lots of hole in the meat all over, including the fat area. Then push the garlic slivers into each hole with a little of the spice combination or a salt and pepper combination, your choice.

Combine all dry spices in a small bowl. Evenly rub spice mix on all sides of the roast; set aside.

Heat oil in a Dutch oven/electric skillet or a large, heavy-bottomed pot with a tight-fitting lid over medium heat until smoking, about 5 minutes. Add meat and sear it, browning on all sides, about 20 minutes total; remove to a plate.

Add onion, celery, bell pepper and leftover garlic to the pot, season with salt, and cook until just softened, about 5 minutes. Add tomato paste and stir to coat vegetables. Pour beef broth into the pot and scrape up any browned bits called "fond" from the bottom.

Add thyme, meat, and any accumulated juices to the pot and bring to a simmer. Add Tobasco sauce if you are including some spicy heat. Cover and cook in the oven/electric skillet until fork tender, about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. At the last 20 minutes, add the fresh mushrooms if you are including them. John loved mushrooms and used them often.

Melt in your mouth, exploding with flavor! Serve over rice or with fresh parslied and buttered new potatotes. It's quite awesome when you get a bite of roast with a mellow garlic flavor from the simple cooking technique of inserting those garlic slivers into the meat before searing. Enjoy!

Video: Chocolate Production Down - Venezuela's Faded Cacao Crop

From Denny: Here is what all of us chocolate lovers have been dreading - the reduction in production of our beloved cocoa beans. Did you know that weirdo Hugo Chavez is basically in charge of the chocolate industry in Venezuela? Yeah, scary. That's why production is down among other reasons. And you just thought it was bad enough he's in charge of a huge oil reserve in the world, now we hear he's messing with our chocolate too...

For almost 400 years the high-end quality of cocoa beans from Venezuela have been coveted by the best chocolate makers. Yet now Venezuela only accounts for 1% of the global production because of bad politics and outdated technology. Chavez's crazy disorganized and often cavalier bureaucracy has proven to be a daunting challenge to the cocoa farmers. And now comes along squatters the government won't remove from their land!

New York Times videos only have links. Check out this short chocolate news update video contained in the New York Times article, go here.

cocoa, Venezuela, Chavez, politics, chocolate

Recipes: Chocolate Alcoholic Drinks That Taste Like Favorite Foods!

Chocolate cake with frangelico filling Image by DeathByBokeh via Flickr

Photo of Girl Scout chocolate drink

Photo of Chocolate cake with frangelico filling by DeathByBokeh via Flickr

From Denny: OK, these are new ones on me and quite the trend lately for bar drinks to taste like a favorite food. What fun! This reminds me of surreal artwork that tricks the mind. This is the funny food version that tricks the tastebuds. Who cares as long as it tastes good.

Girl Scout Cookie

From: Chow.com
Serves: 1

INGREDIENTS

3/4 ounce peppermint schnapps

3/4 ounce dark crème de cacao

1/2 ounce heavy cream

INSTRUCTIONS

Shake all ingredients with ice, then strain into an old-fashioned or highball glass filled with ice.



Variations - Almond Joy: Substitute amaretto for the peppermint schnapps.

Chocolate Cake: Substitute 1/2 ounce each of Frangelico and vodka for the peppermint schnapps and crème de cacao.

Chocolate Cake Shooter:

From a comment on Chow.com: "Frangelico does a very good job of tasting like chocolate cake when paired with vodka. An excellent example is a chocolate cake shooter... equal parts of Frangelico and citron vodka. Sugar a lemon wedge, then bite the lemon and drink the shot. By some weird twist, it ends up tasting almost exactly like chocolate cake."

Recipe: Fast and Easy Sloppy Joe Biscuit Pot Pies

Key West, Florida bar called Sloppy Joe's Image by bfraz via Flickr

From Denny: School season is fast approaching and busy moms need some easy recipes with little hassle to keep from being overwhelmed and over tired. Pillsbury always comes up with easy ideas at their site.

Normally, I'm not the biggest fan of frozen mixed vegetables. The only veggies that seem to do well in the freezer in my mind are things like peas or beans like lima beans and other normally dried beans. Okra doesn't do too badly either. Potatoes? Forget it! :) Seriously though, frozen veggies should work just fine here as the chili sauce will overpower any possible "freezer taste." The mustard and brown sugar will also help the flavor tremendously.

As to frozen biscuits that's your choice. I like to control what kind of fat, preferably that without cholesterol, that goes into my food so I make my own, cut them out and then freeze individually on a tray. When rock solid frozen I then place them in freezer baggies and they can last a good year if that were actually possible in our house! :)

This recipe is simple, fast and tailored to individual portions so if you want to spice up (for adults) or down (for young children or picky eaters) it can be done quickly. To make it more Cajun I'd add extra garlic powder and Cajun seasoning like Tony Chachere's (low sodium version).

Meat already has a lot of salt in it naturally, especially chicken as the sellers plump up that chicken you buy in the supermarket with injections of salt water. Sweet, huh? The up side is that salt does kill bacteria so in that sense it can be a good thing. Just watch how much salt you add to any recipe with chicken in it.

Fast and Easy Sloppy Joe Biscuit Pot Pies

From: Pillsbury.com

Serves: 2

Ingredients:

1/2 pound lean (at least 80%) ground beef
(Denny: you could substitute ground turkey or chicken)

1/4 cup chopped onion (from a medium onion)

3/4 cup frozen mixed vegetables (add some fresh chopped celery too)

1 teaspoon packed brown sugar

1/2 teapoon dry ground mustard

3/4 cup chili sauce

2 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

2 Pillsbury Grands Frozen Buttermilk Biscuits (from 25-oz. bag)

2 teaspoons milk

1/2 teaspoon sesame seeds, if desired


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Spray an 8-inch skillet with cooking spray. Add ground beef and onion and cook over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until
beef is thoroughly cooked. Drain.

3. Stir in frozen mixed vegetables, brown sugar, mustard, chili sauce and Worcestershire sauce. Cook 2 to 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are crisp-tender.

4. Spoon beef mixture into 2 (1-1/2-cup) ungreased ovenproof bowls or ramekins. Top each with frozen biscuit. Brush each biscuit with milk, sprinkle with sesame seeds, if desired.

5. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until biscuits are deep golden brown.


Photo: Key West, Florida bar called Sloppy Joe's Image by bfraz via Flickr