Funny Quotes About Chocolate

From Denny: Here it is - All the funny quotes about chocolate I have found so far and given a home here at Romancing The Chocolate blog!



* Bumper sticker: If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going!

* Nobody knows the truffles I've seen. - Anonymous

* Money talks; chocolate sings! - Anonymous

* Chocolate doesn't make the world go around ... but it certainly makes the ride worthwhile! - Anonymous

* Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Anonymous

* In the beginning, the Lord created chocolate, and he saw that it was good. Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. - Anonymous

* Life without chocolate is weird like a beach without water. It's just plain unnatural! - Denny Lyon

* "Las cosas claras y el chocolate espeso." (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) - Spanish proverb

* Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Anonymous

* Man cannot live by chocolate alone but it sure is fun trying! - Anonymous

* There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. - Anonymous

* I would give up chocolate but I'm no quitter. - Anonymous

* In the cookies of Life, friends are the chocolate chips. - Anonymous

* There is no such group as Chocolates Anonymous; no one wants to quit! - Anonymous

* LADIES AND CHOCOLATE

"The Spanish ladies of the New World are madly addicted to chocolate, to such a point that, not content to drink it several times each day, they even have it served to them in church. This sensuality has often brought down upon them the wrath of their bishops; but the latter have ended by closing their eyes to sin, and the Reverend Father Escobar, whose spiritual reasoning was as subtle as his moral doctrine was accommodating, issued a formal declaration that chocolate made with water was not contrary to the rule of the fast days, even evoking (to the profit of his penitents), the time worn adage, Liquidum non frangit jejunium."

- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), The Physiology of Taste

From RTC reader Joann Vallo and fellow blogger friend of women's issues: "I meditate, I do yoga, and I have a lot of friends who are healers...and if none of that works, I go buy a chocolate bar and a bottle of cognac." - Susan Strasberg

"After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate." - Mel Gibson

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles M. Schulz

"Anything is good IF it's made of chocolate." - Jo Brand

"I am not a strict vegan, because I'm a hedonist pig. If I see a big chocolate cake that is made with eggs, I'll have it." - Grace Slick

* Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. - Fernando Pessoa

* Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Sandra J. Dykes

* I never do any television without chocolate. That's my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I'm a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It's amazing I'm so slim. - Dawn French

* I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. - John Belushi

* I reckon I tried everything on the old apple, but salt and pepper and chocolate sauce topping. - Gaylord Perry

I was handed a chocolate bar and an M-1 rifle and told to go kill Hitler. - Jack Kirby

* Ice cream was my undoing, and six chocolate milk shakes in a row were nothing to me at one time. - Kate Smith

* It's about avoiding reality through various escape routes that become addictions and lead to Hell. My character is addicted to television, chocolate, coffee, to her dream of her son, which has no basis in reality. - actress Ellen Burstyn



* Most men, no matter how well or badly dressed, carry overstuffed, beat up wallets that should have been replaced years ago. Why is that? Every time I see a guy take out a wallet anywhere, it looks like a piece of old melted chocolate cake-with strings. - Jonathan Carroll

* Number one, I absolutely love making chocolate chip cookies. I mean, it's fun. It's exciting. Beyond the fact that I love making them, I love eating them. successful cookie company owner Debbi Fields

* People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins they wonder whether they are catching cold. - John Jay Chapman

* Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are. - Matt Lauer, NBC Today Show host

* Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

* You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. - George Carlin

* Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

* Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding! - Andy Milonakis

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Newest Fish Trend: Silverfin Asian Carp, 2 Recipes

Silverfin Fish Cakes

From Denny: Looks like it's official on two fronts. Louisiana is known as the place of "if you can catch it,you can cook it and eat it!" The Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries has come up with a Silverfin fish promotional campaign to promote an unusually tasting fish that is quite delicious.

Developing the New Fish Product

Rivere Foods, Inc. of Paincourtville, Louisiana is the processor of these new to the market products. They are offering Silverfin Fish Cakes just in time for the Lenten season here in Catholic south Louisiana. The first local supermarket to carry them will be Rouse's.

Chef Philippe Parola is the developer of the unusual product and consultant to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries. Chef Parola was fishing for gar near Pierre Part when two huge fish, weighing each 12 pounds, literally jumped into his fishing boat, almost tagging he and his partner. The fish were quite active, leaping all around his boat as soon as they arrived at their fishing spot. OK, I'm not a fishing person as I'd rather cook and eat than catch and clean but wow! that sure sounds unusual. It's as if the fish are saying, "Catch me!"

Chef Parola immediately treated the new fish like a similar one of which he was familiar, saltwater jack fish in Venice. Apparently, jack fish are far better tasting if immediately upon catching if you cut off the tails and bleed them out before chilling. He noticed how firm and pink the meat, thinking it would be interesting to cook it and found a wonderful surprise when he did. Chef says the meat tastes like a cross between crabmeat and scallops.

Asian Carp: Invasive Pest or Blessing?

Eventually, from his research he located what family the fish belonged to and it was Asian carp. In America Asian carp have become a serious pest and there are eradication programs in effect because it is such an invasive fish. The Asian carp is rapidly replacing native fish in the Mississippi River, reaching out in the River's tributaries and distributaries too. In the Midwest fishery experts are worried the Asian carp will migrate into the Great Lakes.

Typical of Louisiana we don't fight the change but rather make use of it. "Why kill these fish and relegate them to trash fish status?" asks Chef Parola. "The Asian carp is delicious tasting. It’s simply under-utilized, undiscovered."

LDWF and Parola Partnered to Market Silverfins

Chef Parola offered his personal research and expertise to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries as a way to develop a marketing plan to sell the carp. Why did the Fisheries department take him up on it? Easy, "Our experience with eradication is it doesn’t work. We think creating a financial incentive for harvesting the fish is a far more effective control. And that’s what LDWF wants to do … increase demand for Asian carp and build a viable fishery based on the fish,” Gary Tilyoun, LDWF inland fisheries administrator, commented.

Asian Carp and Dilemma of Removing Bones in Processing

One obstacle to marketing the fish is that they are known for having "floating" bones that are difficult to remove. There are two varieties considered marketable: silver carp and bighead carp.
Louisiana people like to problem solve. Chef Parola asked around with crawfish and crab processors about how to steam process this fish in the hopes of removing the bones.

Important for Local Fish to Take Place of Imported

The reason Chef Parola is pursuing marketing this fish is as he says, "As a chef, I see the need for a domestic fishery, a source free of pesticides and antibiotics, a need for a good fish to take the place of imported fish, which we cannot monitor for contaminants, a fish rich in omega-3 fatty acids, the good fish oils that promote heart health. Really, Asian carp is an answer to a chef and restaurateur’s prayer."

Previous Attitudes Toward Carp

Another issue for marketing the Asian carp is that Southerners associate it with the smelly muddy common carp that registers high on the ugly meter. The collective decision between the fisheries department and Parola is to designate this carp as "Silverfin" fish. Certainly sounds more attractive.

Website and Resources to Find Out More About Silverfin Fish

LDWF is promoting Silverfin fish to both recreational fishermen and to the food service industry. Want to know how to handle this fish? Check out their website, go here.

Note to chefs: You can also purchase Silverfin fish boneless flakes which closely resemble lump crabmeat. Soon that product will be available from New Orleans Fish House and Louisiana Seafood Exchange so stay tuned. Rouse's Supermarkets will be selling Silverfin products like fish cakes and fish dip by around Lent, 17 February 2010. Tony' Seafood Market & Deli will be selling raw Silverfin fish fillets as early as this next week.

Check out the recipes for this new fish which tastes like a cross between crabmeat and scallops!


Silverfin Cakes

From: Rivere Foods, Inc.

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb. silverfin white meat
4 ozs. unsalted butter, melted
1 tbl. Dijon mustard
2 eggs, divided
1 tbl. lemon juice
1/2 cup (or enough to bind) bread crumbs
Seasoning and hot sauce
Seasoned flour
Oil for frying

Directions:

1. Poach or steam silverfin meat until fully cooked.

2. Break fish into pieces being sure to remove all bones.

3. Put meat into bowl and add melted butter, mustard, 1 beaten egg and lemon juice. Mix well. Add bread crumbs and season, as desired, with seasoning and hot sauce. Form into small cakes.

4. Beat remaining egg in a separate bowl. Dip cakes in egg wash and roll in seasoned flour. Fry, drain and serve.

***

Silverfin Fried Strips

From: Rivere Foods,Inc.

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

16 strips of silverfin fish (boneless, if possible)
2 eggs
1 cup half-and-half
1 cup seasoned fish fry meal or seasoned flour
Oil for frying
Pickapeppa mango sauce for dipping, optional (from Jamaica)


Directions:

1. Inspect strips of silverfin and remove bones.

2. Beat eggs and half-and-half together. Place strips in egg and half-and-half mixture.

3. Remove fish and coat with seasoned meal or flour.

4. Fry fish in hot oil until done. Serve with Pickapepper mango sauce for dipping.


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Oozing with 3 Cheeses and Cheap: White Lasagna

From Denny: There is something about winter that just screams for pasta dishes and women, well, we love pasta as much as we love chocolate. Sigh, yet another unofficial "food group" added to the mounting categories. :)

What's so great about this decadent recipe is that it's so creamy with the many cheeses. Most people, adults and kids alike, are fans of Cheddar and Monterey Jack cheeses as opposed to ricotta so this casserole is a wonderful alternative to the traditional lasagna. It's the onions, beef and pork that give so much flavor and substance to this dish. Parmesan cheese sprinkled onto the crust gives us the irresistible crunch we expect on a lasagna.

Also, feel free to substitute a favorite pasta noodle in place of these lasagna noodles if you want to make it more like a macaroni and cheese dish: elbow macaroni or ziti.


Author and former short-order cook Dawn Welch shows TODAY’s Natalie Morales and Ann Curry how to prepare big batches of sauce that can be used on more than just one meal:

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Three-cheese white lasagna

From: Dawn Welch 'Dollars to Donuts'

INGREDIENTS

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, finely minced or pressed through a garlic press
• 1/2 pound lean ground beef
• 1/2 pound ground pork
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup low-fat or whole milk
• 3 cups homemade Parmesan sauce or store-bought Alfredo sauce
• 9 no-boil egg lasagna noodles
• 1 1/2 cups (6 ounces) grated Cheddar cheese
• 1 1/2 cups (6 ounces) grated Monterey Jack cheese
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated Parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS

Make meat mixture:

Heat the oven to 375°F. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook until soft and translucent, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the garlic, salt, and pepper and cook until the garlic is fragrant, about 1 minute longer Add the beef and pork and cook 2 to 4 minutes until the meat is browned. Pour off the extra fat from the pan.

For lasagna:

Stir together the milk and Parmesan sauce and evenly spread 1/2 cup over the bottom of a 13 x 9-inch pan. Lay 3 lasagna noodles in the pan lengthwise.

Stir together the Cheddar and Monterey Jack cheeses in a medium bowl with the egg.

Pour 3/4 cup of the sauce over the noodles and top with 2 cups of the cheese-and-egg mixture. Pour 3/4 cup of the sauce evenly over the cheese, and follow with 3 more noodles, the meat mixture, 3/4 cup of the sauce, 3 more noodles, the remaining 1 cup of the cheese mixture, and the remaining 3/4 cup of sauce. Sprinkle evenly with the Parmesan.

Cover the pan with foil and bake until the cheese is bubbly and brown, about 30 minutes. Cool 5 to 10 minutes before slicing.



Want to learn how to make your very own Alfredo sauce and cut some calories as an option? Read on!

Creamy Parmesan sauce

From: Dawn Welch 'Dollars to Donuts'

Three 2-cup portions, each serving 6

I'm glad to see Dawn had the same impression of boring bottled Alfredo sauces and overwhelming-pricey-and-swimming-in-fat restaurant dishes that I did. While this sauce can be made with full fat it is also possible to achieve the same great bursting with garlic and cheese flavor at a reduced fat level. Dawn says it tastes best made with heavy cream or half-and-half yet she often makes it with whole or 2% milk for a lighter sauce. That lighter sauce would probably be wonderful in the spring and summer seasons for lighter fare.

Serve up this creamy Parmesan sauce simply tossed with your favorite pasta, pan-seared shrimp and steamed veggies like broccoli. Then you can use this sauce for stuffing large pasta shells like a spinach and portobello mushroom version.

INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter
• 6 garlic cloves, finely minced or pressed through a garlic press
• 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
• 1 quart (4 cups) cream, half-and-halt whole milk, or low-fat milk
• 1 cup (4 ounces) grated Parmesan-Romano cheese blend or 1/2 cup each of Parmesan and Romano
• 2 cups (8 ounces) grated whole-milk or part-skim mozzarella cheese
• 1 teaspoon salt


DIRECTIONS

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium-low heat.

Add the garlic, pepper, and cream or milk, increase the heat to medium-high, and bring it to a simmer (watch the pot — it can boil over in a split second) while stirring often.

Stir in the Parmesan-Romano mixture, reduce the heat to medium-low, and let the sauce simmer, stirring often, until the garlic has mellowed, about 12 minutes.

Stir in the mozzarella and continue to cook until the cheese is melted.

Turn off the heat and whisk the sauce until it is smooth (a blender or immersion blender works great). Stir in the salt.

TIPS

Divide and store

Cool the sauce to room temperature and then divide it between 2 quart-size resealable freezer bags. Refrigerate it for up to 3 days or freeze it for up to 3 months. (After defrosting it overnight in the refrigerator, rewarm the sauce gently over medium-low heat, being careful not to let the sauce boil — boiling it will cause it to separate. If it separates, use a whisk, blender, or immersion blender to smooth it out.)



Creamy broccoli gratin

From: Dawn Welch 'Dollars to Donuts'

Most kids and adult picky eaters will take to frozen veggies or fresh broccoli, cauliflower, corn or green beans when combined with a wonderful creamy cheesy sauce! Dawn reminds us "Frozen vegetables are a great bargain, especially when time is of the essence and you need to throw something together quickly. You'll save 30 cents a pound when you choose already-cut frozen broccoli instead of precut fresh broccoli crowns at the market."

INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated Cheddar cheese
• 1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 pounds frozen broccoli (or fresh broccoli cut into bite-size pieces)
• 3 cups homemade Parmesan sauce or store-bought Alfredo sauce
• 2 scallions, thinly sliced
• 1/3 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs (or 1/2 cup panko or fresh bread crumbs seasoned with 1/4 teaspoon of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of Italian Rub, page 118)

DIRECTIONS

Heat the oven to 375°F. Mix the cheeses together in a small bowl.

Mix together the broccoli, Parmesan sauce, scallions, and salt in a large bowl.

Transfer the broccoli mixture to a 13 x 9-inch baking dish and top with an even layer of the cheese, followed by the bread crumbs.

Bake until the center of the casserole is bubbling and the top is golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes. Cool 5 minutes before serving.
TIPS

Buying fresh vegetables trimmed and prepped saves you time, but always costs you money (and cuts down significantly on their shelf life as well). To save both time and money, trim and cut up a whole head of broccoli or cauliflower, or a pound of mushrooms, beans, etc. Use half right away, and the rest later in the week.

(Recipes from “Dollars to Donuts” book by Dawn Welch, copyright 2009)

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2 Inspiring Haiti Stories: Woman Pulled From Wreckage, New Baby Born on USS Carl Vinson

From Denny: Finally, a happier story of triumph as a woman named Jeanette was pulled from the damaged building in strong health with minor injuries and dehydration after six days pinned down. This is an awesome story of her faith in God and her determination to survive to be reunited with her husband.

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Of course, with any horrific disaster it helps to focus upon the positive. Nothing is more positive and heart-warming than the birthing of a new life. How fortunate this young mother was to have an entire USS Navy ship at her beck and call. The crew is all smiles to be a part of something so life affirming. Can you guess the new baby boy's name? Yes, it's Vinson, in honor of the ship and crew.

The ship is about 17 miles out from the shore of Haiti. They have been taking in any and all injured discovered on the streets of Haiti by U.S. troops. They were the closest American ship in the area and the first to arrive after the disaster.

Can you imagine being pregnant and deep in labor right after an earthquake? The things that had to be going through her mind as she was getting ready to birth her baby. Luck had it she was found by American troops who quickly transported her to the ship to deliver her baby safely.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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New Orleans Saints Celebration Menu: Jambalaya and Crawfish Gold

From Denny: It's been so long coming that Saints football fans in New Orleans and the rest of Louisiana are downright giddy. Here are some of their contributions to Louisiana recipes to enjoy the moment and the glory.

We have a preference for cooking with iron skillets here for long and slow cooking. These recipes are a perfect fit.





(Black-iron pot) Jambalaya

From: Mrs. W.R. Smith is from “River Road Recipes” published by The Junior League of Baton Rouge in their 50th anniversary edition

Serves: 6 to 8

Ingredients:

1-1/2 lbs. sausage or cubed beef
Salt and pepper for seasoning beef, if beef is used
3 tbls. bacon drippings
3 tbls. all-purpose flour
2 medium onions, chopped
1 bunch green onions, chopped
2 tbls. parsley, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2-1/2 cups water
2 cups rice
2 tsps. salt
3/4 tsp. red pepper

Directions:

1. In a heavy, black-iron pot, brown sausage or seasoned beef in bacon drippings over medium-high heat. Remove browned meat from pot and set aside.

2. Stir in flour and cook, stirring constantly, to make a dark roux. Add onions, parsley and garlic and cook until soft.

3. Add water, rice, salt and red pepper. Return browned meat to the pot and stir.

4. When mixture comes to a boil, lower heat to lowest point and cook about 1 hour, covered tightly.

5. When rice is done, remove lid and let cook for a few minutes until rice dries a little.

Crawfish in Gold

From: Nancy Marionneaux

Serves: about 8

Ingredients:

1 large bell pepper, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1 tsp. minced jalapeño, seeds removed, if desired
1 tbl. olive oil
1 tbl. butter
1 (8-oz.) pkg. fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 tbl. minced garlic
3 tbls. flour
Worcestershire sauce, to taste
Salt and pepper, to taste
1/4 tsp. dried, crumbled thyme
1 (18-oz.) can chicken broth
1 (18-oz.) can water
1 lb. peeled crawfish tails
1 (24-oz.) pkg. yellow potatoes, sliced
2 to 3 tbls. whipping cream (optional)
Parsley

Directions

1. Sauté bell pepper, onion and jalapeño, if desired, in olive oil and butter over medium heat until translucent. Add mushrooms and garlic. Cook until softened.

2. Add flour and sauté 3 minutes. Add Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, thyme, chicken broth, water and crawfish. Turn up heat a little; stir until sauce thickens slightly.

3. Add sliced potatoes and reduce heat to low. Cook, uncovered, until sauce thickens and potatoes are fork tender.

4. Add whipping cream, if desired. Garnish with parsley.


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