Funny Miss Speak Known as Malapropisms

From Denny: The following is a fun excerpt from Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets. For the full post, go here.

*** Those funny slips of the tongue that come out weird and ridiculous!

From Denny: OK, we have all done it at one time or another. The key to good communication and understanding with others is to, well, avoid those slips of the tongue – or brain – whichever the case may be and speak something that comes out as absolutely weird and ridiculous nonsense.

What’s a malapropism? It’s one of those Freudian nuisances that have long plagued humanity – and politicians. We will get to that in a moment. A malapropism is really the unintentional use of a wrong word or strings of words into a phrase (compounding the problem) that causes confusion with the listeners as to what you truly meant to utter.

OK, so it’s unintentional and a humorous misuse or distortion of the word or phrase. A malapropism is especially effective because though it sounds a lot like the intended word so that it ends up ludicrously wrong in the context! What’s worse is if you make a habit of talking like this.



Some typographer having fun: I Shot the Serif ---- sheriff

A quick bit of history trivia for you on the origin of the word malapropism… OK, all you show-offs quit waving your hands because you already know the answer. Malapropism came into our language a few centuries ago from the pen of writer Richard Sheridan. His character, Mrs. Malaprop, was known for these speech antics in his 1775 play named The Rivals.

Here are some of her fun malapropisms and the correct word follows. If want to study how to write malapropisms this is a great example of how to write them:

"...promise to forget this fellow - to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory." -------------- obliterate

"O, he will dissolve my mystery!" ------- resolve

"He is the very pine-apple of politeness!" ------- pinnacle

"I have since laid Sir Anthony's preposition before her;" ------- proposition

"Oh! it gives me the hydrostatics to such a degree." -------- hysterics

"I hope you will represent her to the captain as an object not altogether illegible." ------- eligible

"...she might reprehend the true meaning of what she is saying." ------- comprehend

"...she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile." ------- alligator

"I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, that my affluence over my niece is very small." ------- influence

"Why, murder's the matter! slaughter's the matter! killing's the matter! - but he can tell you the perpendiculars." ------- particulars

"Nay, no delusions to the past - Lydia is convinced;" ------- allusions

"...behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow;" ------- intercepted

"I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him;" ------- desisted

"His physiognomy so grammatical!" ------- phraseology

"I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair;" ------- exposed

"I am sorry to say, she seems resolved to decline every particle that I enjoin her." ------- article

"...if ever you betray what you are entrusted with... you forfeit my malevolence for ever..." ------- benevolence

"Your being Sir Anthony's son, captain, would itself be a sufficient accommodation;" ------- recommendation

"Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!" -------- reprehend/apprehend, oracular/vernacular, derangement/arrangement, epitaphs/epithets



*** For the full post of funny malapropisms - that my British friends call Colemanballs after a sports announcer prone to slips of the tongue - and the examples of former President Bush in all his Miss Speak glory, video of short clips included, visit Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets, go here.





*** Fun and intriguing informative science articles written in my usual cheeky voice:

Check Out Cosmic Generator Producing Energy at Rate of 100K Suns

Slamming Low-Ride Satellite Maps Earths Magnetic Field

*** Thanks for visiting! And if you are a blogger make sure to copy these fun free Christmas clip arts to use on your blog!

Winter Comfort Food from Chef Tyler Florence

From Denny: OK, I'm salivating if only a little... just finished watching this episode of Tyler's Ultimate for winter comfort food. Tyler's food is easy to do, simple and full of fresh flavors. He also has a knack for knowing what regular people want to enjoy on their plate!







This is a wonderful traditional recipe made with both pork and beef. The milk proteins help to break down and tenderize the meat.

Tagliatelle Bolognese

Yield: 4 to 6 servings

Ingredients:

2 ounces dried porcini mushrooms, wiped of grit
1/4 pound pancetta or slab bacon, finely chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
2 bay leaves
2 sprigs rosemary
1 1/2 pound ground pork
1 1/2 pound ground beef
2 cups milk
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 cups dry red wine
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 pound dry tagiatelle pasta
Freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, for serving
1 handful fresh basil leaves
Fresh ricotta cheese

Directions:

Reconstitute the mushrooms in boiling water for 20 minutes until tender, drain and coarsely chop.

Puree the mushrooms, pancetta, onion, celery stalks, carrots, garlic, together in a blender.

In a heavy-bottomed pot add olive oil, bay leaves, herbs and cook gently until fragrant, then add vegetable puree and continue to cook for a further 5 to 10 minutes.

Raise the heat a bit and add the ground pork and beef; brown until the meat is no longer pink, breaking up the clumps with a wooden spoon. Add the milk and simmer until the liquid is evaporated, about 10 minutes. Carefully pour in the tomatoes, and wine and season with salt and pepper. Bring the sauce to a boil, then lower the heat and cover. Slowly simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring now and then, until the sauce is very thick. Taste again for salt and pepper.

When you are ready to serve, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, add the pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until tender yet firm (as they say in Italian "al dente"). Drain the pasta well and toss with the Bolognese sauce.

Serve with a good scoop of fresh ricotta cheese and garnish with some shredded basil, grated Parmigiano and a drizzle of olive oil.







I was well impressed with this intriguing new twist for a beets recipe. Beets are wonderful roasted and roasting is just too easy and low maintenance in the oven while you are busy with the rest of the meal. What really appealed to me was the salad dressing he made for it with honey to bind the oil and balsamic vinegar. Then he added lemon and orange juices to sweeten and kick up the flavors. He even made his own croutons - a man after my own heart! :)

Winter Panzanella

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:

2 bunches mixture red and gold baby beets
3 shallots
Extra-virgin olive oil
2 sprigs marjoram, thyme, and oregano
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 slices pancetta, sliced into small pieces
1 log goat cheese, refrigerated
1 loaf Italian bread, cut into crouton-sized pieces
1/2 lemon, juiced
1/4 cup honey
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/2 orange, juiced
1 handful dates
1 large handful arugula lettuce

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Take baby beets and cut them in half. Place on a long sheet of aluminum foil. Split shallots lengthwise, leaving them unpeeled, and add to foil. Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil, marjoram, thyme, and oregano leaves and season with salt and pepper. Fold foil into a packet and roast in oven until fork tender and nicely caramelized, about 30 minutes.

In saute pan, cook pancetta until crisp.

Meanwhile refrigerate goat cheese so it is easier to break up over the salad later.

Toss the bread chunks with 1⁄4 cup oil until the bread is wet with the oil. Spread the bread on a baking sheet and bake until the bread begins to brown, about 10 minutes.

While the bread is going, make the dressing. In a large mixing bowl, add the honey, lemon juice, orange juice, balsamic vinegar, 4 tablespoons oil, salt, pepper, and stir together. Add all the remaining ingredients except arugula and gently stir. Taste for seasoning. Remove beets and bread from oven, peel shallots, and add to bowl. Stir together and season with salt and pepper. Add pancetta and arugula.







OK, this one struck me right immediately. While I love pears poached in red wine it's often a hassle to find the perfect pears. What is always in our local grocery stores is the common green Bartlett pear. Little did I know you could cook with this juicy pear as I've always eaten it fresh.

This recipe is just too simple and packed with brown sugar flavor! He adds the fresh cranberries for color and taste which is great if you have a few left over from the holidays chilling in the freezer and trying to figure out how to use just a little bit in a recipe. Usually, I'm lukewarm on stewed fruit but a baked cobbler with this topping has me sold! :) This little gem of a recipe would be great for guests or a winter brunch too.

Pear Cobbler with Cranberry Streusel

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients:

4 Bartlett pears
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Streusel Topping:

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 cups cranberries
1/2 cup whipping cream, beaten to soft peaks
Unsalted butter, at room temperature, granulated and sugar, for the baking dish

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Peel the pears and cut them in 1/2 through the stem end. Use a melon baller to scoop out the cores. Put the pear halves in a large bowl. Sprinkle over the vanilla; toss. Then sprinkle over the brown sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg and toss to coat the pears with the flavorings. Line the pears up in a buttered, sugared baking dish, rounded sides up.

In the same bowl, mash together the butter, brown sugar, flour, and salt with your hands for the topping. Toss in the cranberries. Crumble the topping mixture over the pears in the baking dish and bake until the topping is crunchy and browned and the pears are very tender, 35 to 40 minutes. Serve with whipped cream.

*** Thanks for visiting! Check out Richard Geres Bedford Inns Holiday Appetizer too. And if you are a blogger, be sure to copy these fun reindeer images - they are too fun!

Richard Geres Bedford Inns Holiday Appetizer

From Denny: This certainly was an unexpected find today. Apparently, the two actors Richard Gere and wife Carrie Lowell own Bedford Post Inn, Bedford, New York. The actors and the chef look like they are simpatico and have a lot of fun together. You also get an inside peek at the Inn and its kitchen. What a beautiful place it is!

The Bedford Inn's restaurant has recently been named one of the top 10 restaurants in the country. Chef Lewis must be quite excited to receive such an honor. He shows us how to turn leftover risotto into a holiday appetizer.

Besides, mushrooms are brain food! Healthy food for your brain and a simple easy-to-make hot appetizer for the holidays. Works for me! :)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Wild mushroom risotto

From: Chef Brian Lewis

INGREDIENTS

For the risotto base:

• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 4 tablespoons minced Spanish onion
• 1 cup carnaroli rice
• 1 cup dry white wine
• 4 cups mushroom or chicken stock
• Kosher salt, to taste
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

For the roasted wild mushrooms:

• 1 pound fresh porcini mushrooms, trimmed and quartered
• 1 pound chanterelles
• 8 sage leaves, finely chopped
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoons unsalted butter
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

DIRECTIONS

To make the risotto base:

1. Heat the olive oil in a heavy-bottom sauté pan over medium heat. Add the onions and season with salt. Cook until soft and translucent, about 3-4 minutes.

2. Add the rice and stir together with the onions for 2 minutes. Season with salt to taste.

3. Add the white wine and let simmer and absorb fully into the rice, not stirring at this point, for 3-4 minutes. Once the wine has been absorbed and the alcohol evaporated, the rice will begin to toast and take on a nutty aroma.

4. Begin to add the chicken stock at this point, one cup at a time, stirring with a wooden spoon preferably. Stir constantly, allowing the rice to give off its creamy starch and create a delicate creamy broth with the stock.

5. Continue to cook and stir the risotto until all of the stock has been absorbed by the rice. At this point, remove the pan from the heat and add the cold butter, stirring it into the rice quickly, allowing the butter to emulsify with the rice.

6. Finish the risotto by adding the Parmesan cheese and the cooked porcini mushrooms.

7. Serve with a side of freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

To roast the wild mushrooms:

1. In a heavy-bottom sauté pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the mushrooms and season with a touch of salt, cooking gently until all of the moisture has evaporated and they begin to brown, about 8-10 minutes.

2. Add the butter and sage, combining with the mushrooms and cooking until the butter is lightly brown and the sage has browned.

3. Adjust the seasoning with salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

4. Keep warm until ready to add to the risotto.



Wild mushroom stuffed arancini (air-en-cheen-ee), also known as risotto balls

From: Chef Brian Lewis

INGREDIENTS

For the wild mushroom stuffed arancini:

• 2 cups wild mushroom risotto, cold
• 3/4 cup imported Taleggio cheese, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 4 eggs
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 cups bread crumbs
• 2 tablespoons fresh rosemary, finely chopped
• 2 tablespoons fresh sage
• 2 tablespoons Parmigiano-Reggiano
• 3 quarts canola oil, for frying
• Kosher salt and black pepper to taste

For the fines herbs aioli:

• 2 garlic cloves
• 1 large egg yolk
• 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 tablespoons fines herbs (equal parts minced tarragon, Italian parsley and chives)

DIRECTIONS

To make the wild mushroom stuffed arancini:

1. Fill a large, heavy-bottom sauce pot with the canola oil, making sure that the oil does not go higher than halfway high, to prevent the oil from spilling over.

2. Using a fryer thermometer, bring the temperature of the oil to 350 degrees F. Have a tray lined with paper towels ready to drain and season the fried arancini.

3. Using a tablespoon, form the risotto into equal-size balls, called arancini. Stuff each ball with small cubes of Taleggio.

4. Bread the arancini: Break the eggs into a medium-size mixing bowl and whisk with the milk and strain into another mixing bowl. Place the flour in a medium-size mixing bowl. Combine the bread crumbs, Parmigiano-Reggiano, rosemary, sage and salt and fresh black pepper to taste.

5. Roll the arancini in the flour, then dip into the eggs and then roll into the bread crumbs.

6. Fry until golden brown for 3-4 minutes. Remove from the oil with a slotted spoon and season with a touch of salt to taste.

To make the fines herbs aioli:

1. Mince and mash garlic to a paste with a pinch of salt using a large heavy knife.

2. Whisk together yolk, lemon juice and mustard in a bowl. Combine oils and add, a few drops at a time, to yolk mixture, whisking constantly, until all oil is incorporated and mixture is emulsified. (If mixture separates, stop adding oil and continue whisking until mixture comes together, then resume adding oil.)

3. Whisk in garlic paste and fines herbs, season with salt and pepper to taste. If aioli is too thick, whisk in 1 or 2 drops of water.

4. Chill, covered, until ready to use.

*** Thanks for visiting and check out Winter Comfort Food from Chef Tyler Florence! And if you are a blogger, be sure to copy these great reindeer images - they are too fun!

Catch Up on Funny Posts at Dennys Funny Quotes 1 Dec 2009

What'd ya say? I'm so smart? But are you sure about that?

From Denny: OK, so I've been slacking off for the holidays... :) What can I say? I've been in a "food coma"? Nice try; Thanksgiving Day was last week... My only defense would be that food comas take a long time from which to recover, uh, ok, equally lame...

This morning I've been working on Dennys Funny Quotes ever since I found out Blogger only backs up posts. Sweet. All those category lists which took hours and hours to build are basically toast so I've been creating posts of all my categories.

For a grin today take a look at what I've rounded up so far:

Funny Retirement Quotes

Funny Friendship Quotes

Funny Ironic Humor Quotes

Funny Crazy Cat Quotes

Funny Quotes About Quotations

Funny Cooking Quotes

Funny Conan OBrien Quotes

Funny Jay Leno Quotes

Funny Inspirational Quotes

*** Try not to dine too much you might end up in a funny quotes coma! Save room in your mind tummy for tomorrow's Cheeky Quote Day! :)

Easy Party Foods: Short Ribs and Chicken Pot Pie

From Denny: Warm comfort food at a party only appetizer size, now we're talking! Now this one teaches the simplicity and ease of braising short ribs and then shows you how to portion it out for party food. How to serve chicken pot pie as a party food too.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Braised Short Ribs

From: Chef Michael Lomonaco, Porter House New York

Serves: 6 – 8

INGREDIENTS

• 6-8 pounds beef short ribs, on the bone, cut into 4 portions for a main course, or 6-8 pieces when served as part of a tasting menu
• 2 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 large onion, peeled and chopped
• 3 carrots, peeled and chopped
• 1 celery stalk, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 2 cup red wine
• 3 cups low-sodium, store-bought beef broth
• Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Bouquet garni seasoning packet: several generous sprigs of fresh or dry rosemary, thyme, oregano, several black peppercorns, 2 -3 bay leaves, 2 or 3 cloves; all enclosed and tied together in culinary grade cheesecloth

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Pour the oil into a wide, deep casserole, set on the stove top over medium heat. Season the short ribs with salt and pepper, add them to the pan, and brown evenly, approximately 5 minutes per side. Transfer the short ribs to a large platter to hold.

3. Add the onion, carrot, and celery to the casserole, brown for 5 minutes to lightly caramelize them. Add garlic, tomato paste, wine, and broth to the pan. Bring the mixture to a rapid boil, add the seasoning packet of bouquet garni and return the short ribs to the casserole, arranged evenly in one layer. The liquid should not cover the short ribs, but rather should rise 2/3rd up the hunks of meat, partially submerging them. If it seems like you have too much braising liquid or the short ribs are too tightly packed together, try dividing the short ribs and liquid among 2 casseroles for more even cooking.

4. Cover the casserole and place in the pre-heated oven, and braise the ribs approximately 2 ½ hours. Keep the meat partially submerged throughout the braising process, Should the braising liquid evaporate too quickly additional beef broth may be added.

5. After 2 ½ hours of cooking pierce the short ribs with a fork; if cooked enough, the fork will meet no resistance. If the meat still feels dense and the fork meets resistance return the casserole to the oven for an additional 30 minutes, checking again for tenderness afterwards.

6. Remove the casserole from the oven and let rest for 5 to 10 minutes before transferring the ribs to plate or platter. Degrease the braising liquid, strain it, discard the solids and return the short ribs to the liquid. The short ribs and their sauce can be served immediately; or cool thoroughly, cover and refrigerated for up 3 days. Re-heat thoroughly before serving.

7. Serve the short ribs family-style, passing the reduced braising liquid alongside in a sauce boat.



Chicken Pot Pie with Mushrooms, Tarragon, and a Flaky Pastry Top

From: Chef Michael Lomonaco, Porter House New York

Serves: 6-8

INGREDIENTS

To cook the chicken and make the broth:

• 1 large roaster chicken, 5 – 6 pounds
• Bouquet garni seasoning packet: several generous sprigs of fresh or dry rosemary, thyme, oregano, several black peppercorns, 2 bay leaves, 2 or 3 cloves; all enclosed and tied together in culinary grade cheesecloth
• 1 large onion, peeled, diced
• 2 large carrots, peeled, diced
• 1 stalks celery, diced
• 1 package frozen puff pastry, thawed, kept cold

For the sauce:

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 3 large shallots, finely minced
• 2 cups assorted mushrooms, shitake, oyster, cremini, sliced and broken up by hand
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 3 cups freshly made chicken broth
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 bunch fresh tarragon, leaves chopped
• Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS

Cook the chicken and make the broth: may be prepared 1 day in advance

1. Wash the chicken under cold, running water and pat dry with paper towels. Put the chicken into a large pot, cover with cold water and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce to a simmer and cook for 15 minutes, carefully skimming off any impurities that accumulate on the surface.

2. Season with salt and pepper, add the bouquet garni seasoning packet, onion, carrots and celery. When the water returns to the boil, reduce to a persistent simmer and cook, uncovered, for 45 minutes.

3. When the chicken is thourougly cooked remove from the broth and cool. As the chicken cools, strain the broth from the chicken, and reserving the broth, discard the vegetable solids. When the chicken is thoroughly cold, strip off and discard the skin. Strip the meat from the bones, and shred using scrupulously clean hands and an immaculate work station. (If you wish you may now refrigerate the chicken and cooled broth for up to 48 hours.)

TO SERVE:

Pre-heat the oven to 375°F. Bake the Pastry tops

4. Use a pastry cutter dividing the cold puff pastry into 3-inch circles. Cover a cookie sheet with baker’s paper, place the rounds on the paper, and bake in the preheated oven for 5 minutes or until they are nicely browned. Remove the pastry and keep warm.

Make the pot pie filling and finish:

5. Heat the olive oil in a large pot or casserole over medium heat, add the shallots and sauté them. After 3 minutes, add the mushrooms, raise the heat, and cook for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

Add the butter to the mushrooms, allow to heat and bubble before adding the flour to make a quick roux to thicken the sauce. Add warm chicken broth, stirring in with a whisk; add the cream and bring the liquid to a boil, cook for 10 minutes. To the pot with the mushrooms, chicken broth and cream, add the chicken meat.

Bring to a boil, lower the heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Add the tarragon leaves, and transfer to small oven proof dishes or crocks (soufflé dishes will do), top each with a pastry lid and serve at once.

*** For more recipes visit Romancing The Chocolate. Thanksgiving Leftovers Ideas: 3 Entrees, 1 Dessert, Recipes, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting! For more recipes, check out Romancing The Chocolate!